In the 18 years I was with my husband we never really celebrated Valentine’s Day. The odd year he would maybe get me flowers but usually he was in camp this time of year and we were not even together. We are now beginning our 5th year without him and the holidays have changed from being a time of sadness and grief to becoming a time to remember him and smile.
Most of the time I am really content with my life and I am happy with my own company but I do get lonely at times. I do miss being married. I miss having someone to talk to everyday, someone to cook with, sit by the fire with, to laugh with, and someone to feel affection from. With that said though, I don’t allow myself to sit in the feelings of loneliness or to sit and long for new love so when I woke up this last valentine’s day and was feeling a bit sorry for myself, I decided to get out of that mindset and to celebrate love instead. I went for a drive along the lake and ended up choosing to go for lunch by myself.
I was pulling into the local Earls restaurant when I had the sudden and overwhelming thought to go this little seafood restaurant instead. So I turned on a dime in that instant and headed over. When I walked into the restaurant it was full except for one table so I put my coat on the chair and went to order. When I first arrived I had noticed an older gentleman sitting by himself and so when a family of three walked in and needed a table I approached this man and asked if anyone was joining him and if we could have lunch together. He said to please sit down. I asked him his name, it was Don. And he asked me mine. As soon as I told him his eyes welled up and his mouth dropped open. He said that was my wife’s name and she died 3 months ago. She had died of a heart attack in the night, just like Andy and he has three sons just like I do. No daughters but granddaughters and grandsons. We spend the next hour talking about life and love. He was with his wife for 54 years. He talked about how much he loved her, and how important his family is to him. He told me about losing one of his sons a few years before and how heartbroken he was. When we were done I gave him a hug and said I wouldn’t forget him. He told me he needed to meet me that day and won’t forget me either. He said he was going to go and tell his sons about me.
The thing is that this meeting was meant to happen. This experience was on another level and the sudden and very strong feeling to go to another restaurant didn’t come from me. The moment I walked into the restaurant I noticed him and had thought of approaching him right away. I remember thinking that he looked like he could use some company. The other family walking in just gave me that extra push I needed to go talk to him and for the rest of the day I felt different. I don’t even know how to explain it other than to say it was euphoric. I was full of gratitude for having the experience. I was full of joy because I really felt like I helped him through a day that was tough for him, his first valentines in 54 years without his love by his side. I literally can not remember any specific Valentines days from before now, and I did try, but I will always remember him and the lunch we had together. Sorry Andy but Don was by far the best Valentines date I have ever had 🙂
